Reborn

"26.2. It will hurt. It will take time. It will require dedication. It will require willpower. You will need to make healthy decisions. It requires sacrifice. You will need to push your body to its max. There will be temptation. But, I promise you, when you reach your goal, it will be worth it." - From I <3 To Run

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This is worth re-posting.  October 28, 2012, I will feel reborn.  Thank you, I <3 To Run.

So What's Happenin' Girlfriend?

......my friends!  I've been missing my bloggy world and with the storm/tornado threats raging outside my window, the kids happily entertained by Legos upstairs, I get to have a little computer time and check in here.

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Marathon Training.  I am a month away from official marathon training time (end of June).  According to Marine Corps Marathon's FB page, as of last Wednesday, only 150 days separate me from the start line.  I am training with 3 girlfriends, following Hal Higdon's Novice 2 plan, and picking it up at Mile 9 or 10 at the end of this month.  I managed to keep my mileage up around 10-12 miles since my last half marathon race.  I am beyond excited to start, but I am hanging in there, feeling the pull of burn out which I don't want to go to.  I don't know if it's burn out or just boredom, because I have no actual race in the calendar this summer (aside from a virtual half marathon race) until September.  Races usually keep me going and all excited, but even the thought of a summer 5K race bores me.  I don't mean to sound snobby, but I need something more - something.....different.  Any suggestions?

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Art.  Yes, art!  This is what's currently consuming me right now.  I entered an art competition over at Lilly Oncology On Canvas.  I am over the moon with this project, and I have one month to do it!  Ack!  The challenge is to express my story of dealing and coping with my mom's lung cancer diagnosis and her passing 3 1/2 years ago through art and narrative.  I am looking forward to this for the searching deep down, the cleansing, the freeing, and for the letting go....Sigh. 

My idea for this piece came to me during my 9 mile run almost a month ago now.  I was running solo, without music, and I went into a zone.  I was thinking about where I am now with my mom's absence, where I am now with lung cancer.  It got me thinking.  When I started running, I ran away from grief, the loss, and the anger.  Then I started to run through those same feelings.  Now, as I run, I feel like I am leaving them behind me and moving towards....free.  I can't explain it, but I am running towards butterflies and this time, I am happy to let them go.  I am anxious to start, but with any art project, I am intimidated by that blank canvas.  I need to just attack it, the way I attack hills on a run. 

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Motherhood.  We are just 2 weeks away from summer vacation!  I am looking forward to not having a schedule.  Little Man is already out of preschool which means running for me during the week has been challenging, getting my 5 miles in when The Hubs is home from work (early evening) or at 6am on days when he's working from home.  I haven't gotten my groove on yet with my new weekday running schedule, but I'll get there. 

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Sporto is finishing up the spring flag football season.  Deep down, I am happy we have one more game to go.  His football practice schedule made our weekdays crazy and hectic.  I do not like rushing through the day. I don't know how families with multiple kids in sports do it.  It's just not for me.  But Sporto loves football and nothing makes me more happy than seeing my kids happy, so flag football it is and probably will be a part of our life for awhile.  Yes, this is why I haven't blogged regularly!  Blaming it on flag football!  lol.

from www.wpclipart.com

Today, Sporto watched the "growing up" video.  If he wasn't my child, I would've died.  Why are kids these days growing up too fast too soon?  Some friends of mine had The Talk already with their 4th graders.  I wasn't sure how far The Hubs and I should go with this talk.  The video only covered the basics of what happens to your body during puberty, so why give more information?  There are times when I can't believe Sporto is at that age already.  Ugh.


Tank continues to amaze us.  His current obsession is writing and drawing in his journal and playing with Snap Circuits.  We are relieved he has not blown up anything (yet). 

Little Man is sad about preschool ending.  He is obsessed with Bob the Builder and arranging play dates with friends without consulting with me first.  I am grateful for those play dates.  My friends and I take turns watching the kids so that we each have a turn having a kid-free afternoon.  Oh those days go by way too quickly.

So there you have it, in a nutshell, what this girlfriend's been up to lately.  I am behind in race re-caps, but I'll get there soon.

I hope you are all having a good start to this month of June.  I know I am.  

Now it's your turn.  What have you been up to lately?

Wordless Wednesday: I Believe In Re-Defining My Impossible

First 5K Race, March 2009

First 10K Race, April 2011

First Ragnar Relay, September 2011

 

First Half Marathon Race, November 2011

First Full Marathon Race, October 2012

Monday Motivation: Live Fearlessly

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On days when I just don't feel like running for whatever reason, I know I need to just go out there and do it because at the end of my run, I always feel good or better.  Running helps me let go of all of the above:  fat days, regret, guilt, frustrations, loneliness, self doubt....and I didn't know it until now, but running helps keep me centered.  When you're centered, you get that feeling that all is good in the world, nothing is impossible, and that in turn radiates to everything we do, to everyone we come in contact with.

I just finished the last few pages of Anita Moorjani's Dying To Be Me, a memoir about her journey from trying so hard to meet everybody's expectations, to fighting cancer, to near death, and finally to her true healing.  What does her book got to do with running?  To me, everything!  Her book validated why I need to run, why I run and why I need to keep running.  Anita wrote about being aware of your "magnificence" as a way of healing and freeing yourself - not just from illness - but from those same things I listed above - fear, regret, guilt, frustrations.  To do that, you must find your true self.  To me, part of my true self is to run which in turn helps keep me centered.  She shared her views on living life, how religion fits into it, and her inspirational near death experience.  It's amazing.  Her book in some way, connected all the dots in my life:  my mom passing away from lung cancer, discovering running, my art, discovering yoga, and the people I've met along the way that led me to those dots and to where I am now.  I am overwhelmed by how everything and everyone is connected and by Anita's revelations.

Go check out her book.  It's eye-opening and very inspirational.

Manassas Runway 10K/5K Race Recap

Yes.  I am so behind.  Very behind on posts.  Life at home has been so crazy busy it's been so hard to squeeze in some online time.

Until today.  Laundry done, groceries done.  Kids fed.  I am actually sitting down for more than 5 minutes and it's not in a car!

So I'm going to start with today's race and go backwards and get you all caught up on my crazy running, mothering, and drawing (art) life.


Manassas Runway 10K/5K Race Recap.  Manassas, VA.  May 12, 2012
This is the second year for this race and my second time running it too!  What makes this race so unique is that you get to run on the airport tarmac!  The best part about this course?  It's FLAT.  Ok, mostly flat except for the tiny slightly steep grade around Mile 3 - but it's tiny as in 20 feet - and it's not on the tarmac.


Packet Pickup.  A friend offered to pick up ours (The Hubs and I ran the race) which was a HUGE help considering Little Man was sick at home with a fever.  Packet pickup last year was a breeze, so I'm sure it was the same for this year.  Gotta love a small race!

I LOVE that this year's shirts are tech shirts!  Yay for for tech race shirts!  I never wear cotton race shirts unless they are a ladies' cut.  So I'm happy about this one!  I can actually wear it to races and to my workout classes.

Aside from a free frozen yogurt from Zinga's and a coupon to our local running store, that was it in terms of swag.  Small town race, but I love it.  No complaints.

from wpclipart.com

Sleep.  I was exhausted from the week's busy-ness:  Football, Teacher Appreciation Week, Guitar, preschool Mother's Day Tea, Muffins With Mom, laundry, laundry, laundry!  Felt like I was coming down with something.  Little Man was down with a fever, and not running the race actually crossed my mind.  After putting the kids to bed, I crashed.  Hard.  So it was a good night-before-a-race-sleep.

from wpclipart.com

Race Morning.  The Hubs and I are grateful for our babysitter who can come at 6am to our house to watch our kids so we can run races together.  We got to the race just 50 minutes before the starting gun time and were really confused to see only 15-20 cars parked.  Ummm....is this the right place?  Turns out, most people parked somewhere else and ended up having to move their cars to where we parked.  This caused a lot of traffic getting into the correct parking lot.  Last year, they had volunteers directing cars.  This year, unfortunately, we didn't see anyone directing traffic.  I had friends call me on my cell, frantic, sitting in traffic, with just 15 minutes to the starting gun time.  Lesson so many people learned from this:  get to the race at least 1 hour before the start!

Getting to the race is the most stressful part of races for me because knowing me, I need to pee at least 2 times before a race.  Once I'm standing at the start line though, I'm good and ready to roll.

Despite the traffic, it was nice to wait for the start indoors - inside the airport terminal - AND be able to use restrooms, NOT porta potties.  The lines to the restroom wasn't long and race day packet pickup looked like a breeze.

Just a few of my mommy friends

Racing With Friends.  At this race, my two worlds collided - college friends and mommy friends.  It was fun meeting up with everyone when we could - in between restroom breaks, packet pickup, and gearing up.  I was excited to see and happy for 3 friends who are getting ready for their first 5K and 2 friends who are going to run their first 10K!  After just a few pre-race photos and a last stop at the restroom, I hear the 5 minute warning for the 10K start.



Start Line.  I couldn't find The Hubs at first.  I knew he was anxious about this race, his first 10k race, so I figured he's already lined up at the start.  I wanted to give him a hug and a kiss, and the mom in me wanted to tell him to be careful.  LOL.  He found me first so we lined up with the other runners and met up with friends running the 10K too.

Don't do this pre-race (wpclipart)

When the race director asked to take our caps off for the national anthem, I couldn't believe I thought, "crap, this is going to mess up my ponytail."  Umm, selfish thought, I know!  Of course, I took it off and showed respect, until I almost pulled my hamstring trying to stretch my quads (dumb dumb dumb to do before a race and during the national anthem!) so while the anthem was playing, I was shaking my leg off like crazy to loosen it up while everyone else was so still and respectful.  People must have thought I was nuts!

By the time I got over being so selfish and weird, the race started, and at that point, I realized I had lined up way too far up front. 

from wpclipart.com

Mile 1:  People are passing me left and right.  I almost get swept away by the mass of speedy runners until I look at my Garmin and see 9:02 min./mile.  Whoa, Nelly!  Must stay around 10 min./mile if I want to finish strong.  Gosh was that hard!  9:17, 9:29, 9:09 - all within that first mile.  But I feel good, though! I keep reeling myself in, fighting to keep my legs from going fast ("fast" for me anyway).

Mile 1 split:  9:24 min./mile (CRAP!)


Mile 2:  Finally get my groove on during Mile 2.  Running on that tarmac was such a mind game.  You think you're slow but you're actually running fast.  It was hard to gauge my pace since there's not much around you but the tarmac, grass and trees in the distance.  I keep looking at my Garmin.  Everyone still keeps passing me, LOL.  I scold my body and really make myself go closer to 10 min./mile.

Mile 2 split: 9:57 min./mile. Much better.

from wpclipart.com

Mile 3:  It's getting hot at this point. I end up stopping for just a few seconds to take a swig of water and feel better. I see The Hubs on his last lap towards the finish.  I couldn't help but think he must be hot, and I bet he didn't stop for any water.  I try to channel the cool swig of water to him as if that would help him.

Mile 3 split: 9:48


Mile 4:  After Mile 3, I knew I could go back to doing 9:45 to 9:30 pace. I couldn't believe I was halfway there. Still feeling good at this point.  I see The Hubs running the last 1.2 miles towards the finish and man does he look spent, but his pace is steady and strong.  (I think he's just so awesome and fast! lol).

Mile 4 split: 9:29.


Mile 5:  I had to take another swig of water after Mile 4 so I walk for a few seconds. Gosh it's getting hot.  I'm feeling tired.  I'm thinking now would be a good time to GU.  I start thinking about how I prefer the longer races, then I switch to thinking about a song (I ran without music), grasping for a song to keep me moving.  "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri comes to mind, and I'm like, "what?!"  I start praying (really!) just to keep my mind off of that feeling of slowly slipping into a wall.  Yikes!

Mile 5 split: 9:25

Shoelaces untied! (wpclipart.com)

Mile 6:  I try to stay at a 9:30 min/mile pace. I take deeper breaths. I start to think, man, I could REALLY use some GU right now. Then I notice my left shoelace has come undone. CRAP! Should I stop to tie them or not?   I look at my Garmin and when I see I could get under 60 min., I decide to keep going.  "Please don't trip, please don't trip, please don't trip now.  No, not in front of these people," I keep chugging along.  I push my pace to 9 min./mile for the last 0.5 miles.

Mile 6 split: 9:03.


Last 0.2 Freakin' Mile.  I could see the finish line and think, "OMG, OMG, I want to stop, NO, I'm SO CLOSE.  Thiiiiiis close!!  Can't slow down now!  Please don't trip, please don't trip, please don't trip, ok, if I trip, I'm going to dive for the finish line strips."  I empty the tank, someone shouts my name, The Hubs is cheering for me. I cross the finish line without tripping, YES! I walk off that OMG-I'm-spent-leave-me-alone feeling.

Last 0.2 mile split: 8:35.

Celebrating PRs.  The Hubs won first place in his age group and since this was his first 10K race, it's an automatic PR for him!  So proud of him!  I PR'd by 12 minutes!!! Couldn't believe it!   What a great feeling, meeting my goal time (which was under 60 min.!).

Official 10K time:  58:32:35, 11th out of 22 in my age group, 9:26 min/mile pace.  NEGATIVE split for this middle of the pack girl!  So happy.


I was so happy for my friends who finished their first 5K and 10K races.  I was happy for friends who ran without taking any walking breaks.  I was happy for friends who got PRs.  I was happy for friends who placed in their age group.  I was happy for The Hubs.  Cannot be more proud of him.  Love that man.

Overall, what a great small race.  I think the people you race with makes the difference.  I saw so many familiar faces, it was awesome.  I hope BRATS continue to offer this race again and again.   Definitely a race The Hubs and I will do every year.  Oh and nice bling this year.  Thanks, BRATS!

(NOTE:  Photo of medal and tech shirt coming tomorrow.  The photos I took today came out really dark, so hoping tomorrow I'll get better lighting!)